10 things for 2015

My 10 things to remember for the New Year

Be kind – above all, a kind word of gesture goes farther than anything. That being said...

Be honest – with yourself and with others.

Be thankful - “When a person doesn’t have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity” Elie Wiesel

Be loving – even when you’re pissed

Be courteous – especially with the people you see everyday. Don’t use your home and family as a receptacle to dump your bad day.

Be courageous - “Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently” Maya Angelou

Be a dreamer – and a dream chaser.

Be an anticipator – instead of a procrastinator (I gotta work on this one)

Be strong – days, weeks and sometimes months are going to suck. It’s going to end. Be stronger than the suck.

Have fun – laugh, play, make art, read, watch movies, go to Disneyland. “Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!” Auntie Mame 

Merry Christmas Eve-Eve!

      Christmas is a few days away. I'm trying to focus on the holiday right now just because other things seem very overwhelming. I don't get stressed over a holiday. I like to plan and plot, but I don't see the point in getting stressed over gift giving and eating great food. Granted, I don't have children, but still, to get upset and frothy over finding gifts and baking pies? It's not curing cancer, and it's not even close to brain surgery. My shoulder muscles are in knots over other things.

      My job concluded last week. The holiday break was always going to happen at this time, but instead of feeling 'YAY! Two weeks off!' it's more odd than joyful - well, I have two weeks off, then possibly more weeks off after that. Blech. Besides not having a regular paycheck, I'm not going to see my friends daily. That's really the bummer. The upside is, and what keeps me going when shit like this happens, this will end - the only thing that good times and bad times have in common is they both end. That sounds so downer, but if you think about it, it's kind of nice. This not having a regular job, it will end, I'll meet new people, I'll have new adventures I haven't even thought of yet. The 'bad times' is just the walk to the next door to open. Look how inspirational I am!

      The other thing is (the main thing is) - The Collector. I need a marketing push, or something. I'm not sure how to raise more funds, and I must. Just typing these words make my muscles tense up. I'm excited about talking to people about costume design and makeup for the fairies, but it's going to cost money. Even if everyone donates their time, I need to pay for materials. Erg! I tend to freeze when I get overwhelmed - like suddenly my brain ceases because I'm thinking of all the things that need to happen, I can't prioritize, the thoughts pour into my brain like a waterfall (and they're not creative thoughts, they're 'f*ck I need to do this' thoughts) it overflows and I become paralyzed. Next thing I know I'm playing with shiny keys on the floor. And that really isn't productive at all. So I focus on Christmas.

      I guess what I'm trying to say is, you know - give me money (said with a smirky smirky smile). Or give me ideas on how a can raise more. I'll take any and all suggestions, besides the spam that fills my Indie GoGo inbox. Apparently, that's the new Nigerian prince gimmick - I have dozens of PM's in my inbox all saying the same thing 'if you give me $5 I'll tell everyone in my feed to donate to your campaign', and they only have 70 connections. Seriously. Anyway, If anyone knows an inexpensive way to put the word out, I'll take it - or knows someone with extra cash that has always wanted to get into the filmmaking business, send them my way. Until then, I'll be wrapping gifts and playing with shiny keys.

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All Good Things….

            It took me a couple of days to process that the show I had been working on this past year had been cancelled. Honestly, I still don’t think it’s hit me completely.          

Even watching the last YouTube Nation episode, I smiled and laughed and thought to myself, this is great. Is – not was. We have so much fun there – wait, these are now just memories??

            YouTube Nation was an anomaly. I have never worked in an office where we filmed every day, posted a show every day (ok, maybe once or twice we didn’t), sometimes more than one, and still did outlandish productions – did you see the Halloween episode? Sheesh!! If it was a slow day, it was rare. Yes people got snippy, and yes there were arguments, but I can honestly say, we all genuinely liked each other. 40 of us, not a douche to be found.    

            I’m not that great with goodbyes. Anyone who has known me for a while knows I like to cut and run. I don’t say goodbyes, I’d rather do ‘see you again’s. If it’s going to be a particularly hard send off, I’ll French exit while you’re at work. Yes, it sounds harsh and heartless, but those that it happens to have said they know – they know that it’s because I care and love them too much to say goodbye. I’m freakin’ tearing up right now, I get emotional very easily. It drives me crazy. Now, I have to say goodbye to 40 people? 40 people that have become family, some I have spent 10 hours a day with, every working day, for the past 15 months. Shit.

            But, we move on. Wrap up the office and ship things away. We file for unemployment, and hope we don’t have to use it.  We look for new jobs. It’s going to suck, and I’m going on hoping that I’m going to find something close to what I had there. Life actually does go on. I’ve got The Collector to work on, that’s awesome and maybe I can wrangle some of these people to come onboard. Either way, I’ll miss you, YouTube Nation family. I feel I’ll see you all again.